I Know I Can't Always Protect Him

As a teacher, as a mother, and as a former child, I understand that kids can be cruel, but it kills me when my child comes home from school and tells me that someone called him stupid.  Yes, to a kindergartener the word "stupid" is exciting and is the new buzz word.  I taught kindergarten - I get that.  With all that said, the look on my son's face today as he was telling me how one of his classmates called him stupid just enraged me.  I was pissed and hurt for my child.  He already has to deal with a three year old brother that calls him stupid and dumb and points out all the things that he can do better and faster than my older son.  That I can handle.  That I can kind of shield him from.  I can't shield him from the mean things kids will say at school.  And it wasn't like it was even related to school work of any kind.  My son was being silly and the other kid called him stupid.  It happens every day in every school, but this is MY kid.  We have been working hard to help him know what to say to kids that say things to him that are mean.  We have been coaching him to walk away, let things roll off, and to realize that no, you are not any of those vile words that kids will call you.  As his mother, I am still working on letting it roll off.  Kids will be kids. They will say hurtful, mean, cruel things to each other.  I can't change it.  Hell, I know a lot of women who do the same thing.  I cannot protect him from the world.  I cannot put him in the bubble that I so desperately want to put him in.  All I can do is coach him how to let things roll off, to walk away, and to know that he is so far above those vile, ugly words.  Dear Lord, this mommy stuff is hard!

Holy Numbers, Batman!

My son has always had an affinity for numbers.  I remember when he first counted out 10 objects when he was barely a toddler.  Being speech delayed he didn't have the language to give the names of the numbers, but the methodical nature to how he counted was such a strong indicator that he understood the concept of numbers.  Throughout the last three years, my son has made comments on numbers, dates, and patterns.  I always thought his observations were just random flukes or something that he heard the teacher mention.  It has only been the last few months that I have really paid attention and started documenting some of these occurrences.  For example, my son likes to tell me which day of the week certain dates will fall.  Just a few weeks ago he said, "Mom, I'm going to be 6 1/2 on Feb. 25th."  I told him he was right.  I then randomly asked him if he knew which day of the week that date fell on.  Keep in mind that this was on the way to school and I was avoiding the litany of questions about anything and everything that often consumes our 2 minute commute.  He piped up after a short pause and said sternly, "It's a Friday."  I remember being shocked as I figured it out for myself.  I then asked him when daddy's birthday falls during the week.  His birthday is March 7th.  Again, after a short pause he got it right.  After drilling him with more dates he began to slip, but the initial few he got correct.  I'm not sure what any of this means other than there are so many amazing gifts that our children teach us each and every day - how to be kinder, more compassionate, more patient, etc.  I never thought that my six year old could teach me math.  I asked him how he knew the answers and he replied, "I just do, Mom.  I can see it."  As a teacher, I have been trained to teach to many different learning styles.  At the early childhood level I strived to really solidify this process by providing many different learning experiences for my students.  I am in awe of my son.  His mind is a wonder and I feel so humbled by how he processes the every day and how he conceptualizes the abstract.

Yahoo, I'm online

Visit our "under construction" website www.sensorysupport.org

I spoke too soon

Well, the sleep issues are back.  They are not as intense as before, but have certainly not subsided.  It's all a process, right?

I told my six year old that his dad and I are going to go see The King's Speech some time soon.  He asked what it is about and I told him it is about a king that had to go to speech therapy.  He said, "You mean just like me?  Did he go see Miss Nicole too?"  I told him that all people have things that they do really well and things they struggle with - even kings.  The smile on his face was amazing, inspirational, and validated that the awareness that I am trying to bring to my community about sensory issues and all the other struggles that go along with it is SO worth it!

There is a reason why my son was given to me.  After all the countless teary nights and frustrating days of wondering how I was going to provide the best therapies and solutions for my son to feel successful, I know this is the reason.  My son is thriving.  Although support was lacking when I was initially going through this process, I want to be there to provide support, resources and information to others.  I sound like such a martyr, but it's true.

Ahhhhh, sleep, how I have missed you!

For the last couple of weeks we have had some stress in the house due to a recent family loss.  This has caused both of my children to react in very different ways.  My three year old asks a lot of questions and is concerned when we are sad.  My six year old has been asking his own questions - very pragmatic ones - and has been having difficulty regulating.  I first noticed a shift in his auditory processing.  Directions were not being followed.  I was having to shorten directions from 3 steps to 1 step.  The pinnacle of the stress was the decrease in proprioceptive regulation.  He was flapping more, wiggling, and just not aware of his place in space.  Whenever this happens I know that sleep issues are around the corner.  Sure enough, the last 4 nights my son has woken up multiple times throughout the night, has had difficulty falling asleep, or is ready to start his day at 3 am.  Finally, I put him on the floor in his sleeping bag with three quilts on top of him hoping that the input he received from the hard floor and the weight of the blankets would help his system regulate.  I am pleased to announce that for the first time in two weeks, my son slept through the night and woke up at a decent hour.
I'm sure my local Starbucks' revenue will take a dip, but at least now we are on the road to feeling functional!

Seminar

Sensory Seminar tomorrow night – February 10^th

The excitement is building! This is the first-ever opportunity to learn about different ways to help a sensory child – all in one room. Get your questions answered!

Come and ask these experts questions about:

auditory processing, therapeutic riding, speech, insurance coverage, ways to help your child learn (reading, writing, spelling, math), interactive metronome, therapeutic listening programs, chiropractic, DIR/floortime, vision therapy, yoga, sensory gyms, occupational therapy, counseling, sibling support, allergy/intolerance testing, naturopathic care, neurotransmitter testing, therapeutic riding (horseback riding), how to heal your child’s gut, immune systems, craniosacral care, and so much more!

Same time, same place:

Where:  Hotel 50 (50 SW Morrison, Portland – by the waterfront), 2^nd Floor

When:  7-9 pm

So Exciting!!!!

We had our first Sensory Mamas meeting last night and it was so inspiring, powerful, validating, and supportive.  We were lucky to have a wonderful OT speak to us about sensory issues and then go around the room and speak to how sensory issues have affected our children.  There were so many "ah ha" moments, information sharing, and general nods of recognition.  I left feeling empowered and SO EXCITED about our next meeting.

If you or someone you know has a child with sensory issues and is interested in joining our group please have them contact me at scheckyjo@comcast.net.

Author Speaks on Bullying and Friendships

Author Event at Barnes and Noble
Parents and educators are invited to attend this special evening with guest speaker Trudy Ludwig. Learn about the latest research findings and the nature of boys' and girls' friendships as well as tips, tools and resources to help empower children. RSVP.

Tuesday February 08, 2011 4:00 PM

Tanasbourne 18300 NW Evergreen Pkwy, Beaverton, OR 97006, 503-645-3046

The Silent Observer

We were driving in the car the other day and my son said from the back seat, "I know how to count by 20s." He then rattled off 20 - 200 without skipping a number.  I asked him if he learned it at school and he said, "No, I just looked on the dashboard and saw 20, 40, 60 and just kept going.  He was looking at my speedometer.  I am amazed at the observations and connections he makes.  He can observe his surroundings in a way that I never could - more in depth, more aware.

The Response

The response to Sensory Mamas has been tremendous.  There are so many families that have reached out to me wanting support and information.  It is so imperative that we get the word out about this far too prevalent disorder.

The sun was out yesterday and my son played (hard) outside for a good 2.5 hours.  The difference in his demeanor and motor planning issues was HUGE.  Don't forget that during this time of year our sensory kids need exercise more than ever!

We're On A Roll. . . .

There are no words to describe the excitement I feel over getting Sensory Mamas started.  The response has been fantastic.  Who knew there were so many of us in the same boat.  I truly hope that Sensory Mamas can provide a safe haven for support, encouragement, and empowerment (S.E.E.)  The simple statement, "I see you," says it all.  Together we have a wealth of resources, knowledge, and support, and I have such big plans for this group.  Let's keep the momentum going, Mamas!

The Next Attention Deficit Disorder?

The Next Attention Deficit Disorder?

Grind away

My little guy is in bed right now grinding his teeth.  Do any of you have grinders?  According to his dentist it's fairly common for kids with sensory issues to grind.  It's the "nails on the chalkboard" affect that creeps me out.  Arrghh, that sound!

I'm no super mom

Thank you everyone for your kind words on email and Facebook, and for all of your support.  This is a new phase of my journey and your encouragement means the world to me.  I am by no means a super mom, but I feel like there is a reason why my son was given to me.

There are a lot of us out there. . . .

So far I have heard from 14 moms who are interested in being a part of "Sensory Mamas" - and those are just women I know.  It is amazing to me how prevalent sensory issues are becoming.

Sensory Mama

In September 2007 I took my three year old son to be tested for a speech delay.  At the time of the testing I asked the clinician if she could perform a sensory inventory on him.  Based on her findings we had a preliminary diagnosis for Sensory Processing Disorder.  Since then my son has been seeing an amazing Occupational Therapist who was able to break through a lot of his sensory issues and give him the tools to cope and overcome what previously seemed impossible.  That combined with speech therapy, has allowed him to blossom.  To look at him today you would never know that he is the same child.

  After my son was officially diagnosed through Emmanuel Hospital, I searched for a support group in the area - just moms talking to moms.  At that time there was a support group through the SPD Foundation run by an OT as well as a lecture series on various aspects of SPD run by an OT practice, but there was nothing for moms to talk to other moms.  I posted a message on urbanmamas.com looking for a group and almost three years later I got an email from a woman looking for the same type of group.  In the last three years I have read everything I could get my hands on dealing with SPD, spoke to clinicians, and generally tried to educate myself as much as possible about the disorder and the paths of treatment.  During that time I have had the pleasure of supporting other moms and offering advice based on what I have experienced with with my son.  Getting the email response to my post inspired me to create a support group "Sensory Mamas," a group of moms who are interested in getting together to share their experiences.

I created this blog to help other mamas of sensory children know that you are not alone.  This is a journey, and one that has amazing highs and frustrating lows.